I have always had a funny relationship with money. I need it to survive (who doesn't?), but I hate the effect it has on me. I have been both rich and poor, and remember what it's like to be both.
When I was growing up, that was when my father was on the peak of his career. I had the privilege of staying in 5-star hotels. My family owned multiple Mercedes Benz cars and went overseas regularly. It was still quite simple compared to some of the things my more privileged friends had, but for an Indonesian standard, we lived in luxury. My dad, was a proud Javanese guy. He cared a lot about his status and his money, but he had the reputation of being relatable and down-to-earth to the lower class. (He still) has a sense of humor that is very suited to every layer of society, smokes kretek cigarettes, and has no issues listening to campur sari.
The more time I spent with him, the more I learned that being rich is good, but being rich AND not an assh*le is even better. My parents always taught me to maintain a neutral attitude, no arrogance, no showing off. In Jakarta, (as well as the rest of the world), but more so in Asian countries, I see a lot of rich people who clearly show that they think they are better than everyone else. Rude, disrespectful, ungrateful, abusive.
My mother was my prime example of an empathetic human being. She was a foreigner and she had no right to work in Indonesia during the 80s and 90s, so she volunteered in different organisations. She also put one of our housemaid through schooling with her own pocket money. Being the wife of a hot shot businessman didn't encourage her to shop luxury items, instead she used her money to put Isah, our housemaid through schooling - until she finished high school.
However, when I looked to the outside world, people like her were (and still are) uncommon. When I worked closely with the Royal Palace, I encountered a lot of these people. Politicians, celebrities. People born into wealth, privilege. People who never went through any form of difficulties in their lives, therefore they can't relate to the lower social class. They can never understand "how did they get that poor in the first place, they could just work hard". Some of the most mind-numbingly boring, uninteresting, naïve, saddest people I've ever met are the rich. Don't get me wrong, I grew up with some wonderful rich people too. Kind, generous. But I do see the effect of money on people. I see it on myself too.
Then I moved out of home and swore to myself I wouldn't ask my father for help. I was a grown up. I moved to Paris with my then fiancée. He had enough of life as an expat and wanted to come back home to France. There were times when we had to decide between buying food or medicine. We were almost homeless. We barely made any money. Jobs were so hard to get. We returned to Melbourne and we restarted life there. Bit by bit we saved up.
Today, I sit on my bed. In an apartment in Lyon. I work a full-time job in a biotech company, and my daughter goes to an International School. On Wednesdays, she goes climbing, every once in a while, we dine in a restaurant, we regularly go on holidays to destinations I never could imagine going to.
You know what? I am f*cking proud of myself. We did this from zero. I don't have a luxurious life. But I have the privilege of eating organic, taking my daughter to a good school, and paying my bills on time, that's all I need.
I learned that it's good to earn enough money. Not an excess of money. There is a fine line where money helps you survive, to money makes you stupid. We end up spending on things we don't need.
A lot of people feel attacked whenever I say "I don't want to be rich". I just wan't to have enough. People take offense whenever I say billionaires should donate some of their money (as if it's their own money). Nobody needs a billion dollars. Absolutely no one. And people who take offense feel attacked because I am attacking their dream of being rich.
I just feel as if these days, when you open your eyes to reality, with so many people struggling, displaced people, war, famine, some people don't have the empathy to share. They hoard. Their justification "I earned this", sure, you can enjoy this world with your money while society falls apart around you.
Donation doesn't have to mean by financial means, you can donate time and energy by volunteering, by helping others.
In summary, of course there is nothing wrong with being rich. But being rich and useless with your money doesn't make us any more special. This world needs people who create impact, people who help the helpless, people who give opportunities to others.
Being poor is awful, but being low-budget keeps you sharp. You plan everything beforehand, you don't overspend, you spend on things that actually matter.
When money is earned through good work, it feels even better to have it. It's good to be valued as an employee at work, get paid more, be rewarded for your skills. That's when money becomes meaningful, when you earn for your family, you look after for the ones you care. I was talking about this with my colleague, Florine the other day. We both struggle with money sometimes, but our kids go to the same international school. We agree that, when you love your kids, you will find a way to give them the best, even when it seems impossible. That is what privilege really is. That's luxury to me.
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